A Balanced Perspective Weekly 
on Health and Wellness
June 9, 2006

1. My Birthday and Relationships
2. Website Highlight Of The Week - Physicians
3. Cooking Classes 
4. Improve Your Relationship with Food and Your Body

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1. My Birthday and Relationships

Twenty-Nine

Today I turn 29.  It will be official around 4pm.  Amazing
how time flies.  It seems as if only 2 months have past
since my last birthday.  I must say that I'm proud of who
I've become.  Life has turned out to be far more exciting
than I could have imagined. 

This year I decided that I wanted to focus more on
relationships and developing my community.  I'm really
enjoying this.  I made a decision to stop doing the things
that were keeping me in non-commital relationships, and
to start taking that part of my life seriously.  Shortly after
I did find myself in a more serious relationship.  It's going
well.  It's still within the first few months, so I can't fully
predict what will happen, but I have learned some
tremendous things about myself and about relationships.

How Quickly A Relationship Can Break Down

I have realized how easy it can be to disconnect from
someone you're attracted to when feelings get hurt, or if
something is perceived the wrong way.  I have realized
how easy it is for a relationship to break down in just one
moment.  You have to depend not only on the other
person to be open and communicative about his or her
feelings, thoughts, concerns, hurts, desires, needs and
frustrations, but you also have to depend on your own
willingness to be vulnerable and share in a way that is
trusting of the other person's receptivity, and their desire
to be connected to you.

There have been countless moments where our relationship
could have ended had I not shared with him my insecurities
or fears, and the same had he not been open with his.  I
can choose to get angry and carry resentment assuming 
that he "knows better," or should know what I need, or I
can choose to go to him with trust and respect, sharing
with him my concerns in a non-accusing way - trusting his
good intentions.  I can become defensive when he
approaches me with his fears, anger, or concerns...or I can
listen to him sensitively and accept him for who he is.

Choose Communication

I can see that if at anytime I choose to not communicate
with him and not work through things...I could easily begin
to build up a storehouse of negative feelings that would
surely kill the flame.  The scary part is that I see how it is
so much easier to choose not to communicate lovingly
than to choose to communicate.  Has this been your
experience?

Fortunately, somehow I have realized that the strength of
our relationship is totally dependent on letting him see the
real me...  Fortunately, he does respond positively and
lovingly to my feelings, insecurities and concerns.

Respect yourself and respect your partner.  Assume the
best first.  However...don't let that be an excuse to stay
in an abusive relationship.  If you are in an abusive
relationship or think you might be, I recommend that you
seek professional support.

I can say confidently that by communicating about the
challenges and difficulties that have come up in our
relationship have only strengthened our bond.  I hope we
both will continue to take that risk with each other.  I
also hope this encourages you in your relationships.

Love you lots!!

xoxo

Melissa

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"I thought by going to Melissa I would get a few dieting tips, some
new recipes to try at home, maybe lose 2 or 3 pounds, and walk
away feeling pretty good about myself.  What I received from my
sessions with Melissa was so much more!  Melissa went to the root
of my "troubles" and concerns, she lead me to a place where I could
let go, forgive, and be more proactive about my dreams.  Since
Melissa, I have been dancing and performing more than ever and 
feeling much more positive about my life and career.  I sought out
Melissa to lose five pounds yet, in the end, I wound up gaining so
much more than anticipated.  I have filled my life with so much
meaningful matter that craving healthy foods has come naturally and
I desire them in order to support my lifestyle.  My achieved weight
loss ended up being just an added bonus."  -CB, Dancer, NYC

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