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A Balanced Perspective Weekly
on Health and Wellness June 22, 2006 1. How Social Situations Can Sabotage Weight Loss! 2. Website Highlight Of The Week - Web Designer 3. Cooking Classes 4. Improve Your Relationship with Food and Your Body --- 1. How Social Situations Can Sabotage Weight Loss Good afternoon! Well, as you probably know, yesterday was the first day of summer and the longest day of the year! Today I want to talk to you about how to maintain your weight loss goals in social situations. This might include sticking to your diet, or just plain keeping the weight off once you've lost it. I have been working with people closely now for 3 1/2 years on changing their relationship with food. Most of you also know that I lost 25lbs over 5 years ago and have maintained that weight loss! It is exciting to know that you can beat the statistics. There are consistently a few problems that I find people come across in their attempts to lose weight that seem to be very difficult barriers. One of the major issues is social. Let's address how our social life can prevent you from reaching your goals so that you can be aware and do something about it. 1. Joining In On The Fun - The Party It's okay. You can admit it. The drinks and the food are the exciting part of the party. If you're not having some of it, you're missing out on the time of your life, right? Well...maybe not. After all, it is just food. Food will be there tomorrow and the next day, it's not the last time you will see something exotic, and it's probably not the first time you've seen most of these dishes either. And while you might remember that "great dip" forever, hopefully the meaningful conversations, jokes, and the cute guy (or girl) you met will be the parts that really enrich your life, and build terrific memories. Think about the real reason you're going to this party. Is it really to find out what there will be to eat? It's ok to admit yes if it is. In fact, I think there are a lot of you out there who are thinking a lot about the food that's going to be at the party and you're excited to spend time with it. If this is you, you can change your mentality. You can ask yourself if you really do want to go spend time with your friends and meet new people, or is it the food you want to put your focus on? If you want to forget about the food, try out some of these suggestions and see which one works best for you. A. Eat a delicious healthy dinner before you go so that you are satisfied. Then get excited about talking with your friends and finding out what's going on in their lives. B. Don't eat dinner and bring something to the party that you can eat while you're there. This way you have something to do with your hands while everyone else is munching away. You could bring steamed veggies, a salad, a veggie plate, a fruit plate, watermelon. C. Eat a light dinner that doesn't quite fill you up and bring some light healthy snacks with you that you can munch on. D. Prepare a delicious healthy dinner for yourself to eat after the party so that you won't snack during the party.... after all, you don't want to "ruin your dinner." Different scenarios will work for different people. *Remember, bringing light healthy snacks doesn't make it okay to overeat. 2. Going Out To Dinner Here's another social situation that can be difficult for us. If we're hungry, sometimes the most fattening stuff on the menu is what looks the best. We want to get what everyone else is getting. We see our skinny friend ordering a meal lavished in cheese and we think "if she can eat it, so can I," or we just see that everyone is ordering what they want, but we fail to realize that they are all dealing with a weight problem as well. Here are some ways to handle dinner situations: A. Preplanning can help you a lot here. If you can, find out what restaurant you will be going to and then look up the menu online. Decide before you go what you will be having. Pick something that tastes good but is healthy before you feel the pressure of your social situation. B. Most meals at a restaurant have more food than you need. Simply ask the waiter to put half of your meal in a to go box before he brings out your food. Now, this might draw some attention to you from others. See below on what to do about this. C. Chew your food thoroughly. Savor every morsel and focus on the conversation. This will help you to notice your satiety cues more quickly. As soon as you notice them, put your fork down and ask the waiter to take your plate, or put your napkin over it. 3. Drawing Attention To Yourself This is an easy mistake to make. When we are on a diet, we often draw attention to ourselves and give away our power. Notice what people around you say when you turn a piece of food down and tell them that you are on a diet: "Oh. You are beautiful. You don't need to lose weight." That is really nice, but you need to make this decision for yourself. The problem is, people often don't know what to say when you're on a diet. They want to make you feel good and they want to make themselves feel good for making you feel better. You then doubt yourself, believe them, take the cookie and continue feeling bad about the weight you have been trying to lose for the last 5 years. Here's another one: "Oh. Just one won't hurt!" If I had a dime for everytime someone said this, I would be rich. If I had a cookie everytime someone said this, I would have never lost weight. I would probably have gained more! You don't need to tell everyone that you are on a diet. When you do this, you often give away your power. This opens up the opportunity for people to tell you all the reasons you shouldn't be on a diet today...and most of those reasons will only make them feel more comfortable and you end up feeling worse about yourself. They don't want to eat the cookie/cake/fettucini alone. So what do you do? "I'm not in the mood for sweets." "I'm just not feeling the cookies today!" "I'm really craving a salad." "I ate earlier, so I'm just not that hungry." "I'm saving room for dinner with my hot date tonight" (or with your best friend etc. etc.) "I'm too full to eat another bite." (You can say this when you don't want something someone is offering to you even if it's not totally true. This is your personal business.) In the case of having half of your meal put in a to go box before it's brought to the table: "I can never eat all the food they bring you here!" "This is going to be so good, I want to make sure I have some for tomorrow too!" "I promised (fill in the blank) I would bring her/him some back." "I ate before I came, so I'm just not that hungry." "I'm saving room because I'm getting together with someone later for a snack/dinner/dessert." Choosing Who Will Support You It is important to have support when you are trying to lose weight, but choose those people carefully. Choose people who are really going to support you in achieving your personal goals. Steer clear of people who will sabotage your efforts with tempting words. This is not an exhaustive list, but it should give you some tools to help you in certain situations. Also, if you are underweight and still think you need to lose weight, please seek help from a qualified professional. You can find some great therapists who I highly recommend in the resources section of my website. If you want personal, individualized support to change your relationship with food and meet your goals, call or send me an e-mail to set-up an appointment. I would love to meet with you. Melissa ------ "Counseling with Melissa was so much more than what I'd expected. I started out thinking I was just going to be coached through a diet, but she helped with many other aspects of my life. She really took the time to get to know me and respected my values. We worked on my self-image and I have learned to be kinder and more accepting to myself. She helped me to develop a budget that was livable, ultimately leading to less stress in my life. We worked on how I deal with personal relationships as well. I am so much more aware of my needs and how to express them to those in my life. I also lost about 20 pounds during our six months of sessions and have still maintained that weight loss. I miss my telephone meetings with Melissa, but it's still very helpful to get her weekly newsletters. I would recommend her services to anyone! She is very balanced in her approach." - Kasey, Virginia, 2006 *Improve Your Body Image |
As always, thanks for reading and please send comments and feedback Melissa@myheartdances.com
Copyright 2002-2006 Melissa King
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