A Balanced Perspective Weekly
on Health and Wellness
October 22, 2007
1. Advice Column - Trust in Intuition?
2. New Newsletter Service - You will have to SUBSCRIBE again.
3. Women's Group: Live The Way You Really Want
4. Cooking Classes
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1. Advice Column - Trust in Intuition?
A couple weeks ago I said that I would post one question from
a reader and answer it in this newsletter. Then No Trash week
got started and it was difficult to find room for it. So finally
here it is!
My question is: in relationships, how do you know the
difference between your "gut feeling" of something wrong from
your "fear of betrayal & heartache?"
Trust is the core of a relationship, yet I would be willing to stay
with someone I don't trust. Why? A year ago I caught my ex-
boyfriend in lies. After that event I couldn't trust him anymore,
yet somehow he always made me feel like I was the one with
the problem. He said "he'd never do it again." Yet time and time
again, he has. Is it possible that one person can make so many
mistakes? Is it possible that my ability to forgive, but my
inability to forget about all the lies be the problem? I tried to
work it out for a whole year afterwards because I feel like I run
from relationships when something goes wrong. Any Advice?
- Hopeless Romantic
What Are You Really Asking?
It sounds like this question is not really about knowing the
difference between your gut feeling and irrational fear. Clearly
this person had a character issue when it came to honesty. It
sounds like you were trying to make a relationship work that
wasn't working - simply because you really wanted to have a
relationship. I think people do this a lot; they stay in things
they know aren't right because they are afraid that they won't
find something better, they are attached to an idea of the
person they are with, or because they think all relationships
have problems and that they should stick it out. But in this
situation, this was not a problem that you were both trying to
work out together. This was not a superficial trait (such as the
way he washed the dishes, or some annoying habit he had)
that you were trying to get over. This was a character flaw
that prevented the possibility of you ever really having an
intimate relationship with him. I condensed this question for
the sake of the newsletter, but you shared that you had hard
evidence of his deceitful behavior.
Interpreting Intuition
Now back to your original question because I think it's an
important one in general - and I think you are really wondering
how this will affect your future relationships. Intuition is a
great tool, but it's only a tool. Sometimes we misinterpret its
message. Sometimes the message isn't saying to "run," it's just
saying - something is wrong here... We interpret that message
as - "run," when the message just said, "something is wrong."
That's when you have to look deeper and ask yourself - "Is
there a conversation I need to have that I'm not having?"; "Is
there somewhere I'm not being honest with myself?"; "Do I need
to ask more questions?"; "Do I need to change how I proceed?"
Stay honest with yourself... sometimes this means sleeping on
something so that you can respond rather than react.
I hope you will keep trying to find someone special to share
your time with if that's something that you want. Stay honest
with yourself. That is my best advice. And then be honest and
open with the other person...even when it's scary. If you are
often taking the responsibility for problems that are clearly
another person's problem (such as when your boyfriend made
you feel that you were the problem for not being able to forgive),
then you might want to check into books on boundaries or
codependency. Do a search on Amazon and find something
that speaks to you.
Hope those thoughts are helpful!
xoxo
melissa
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2. New Newsletter Service - You will have to SUBSCRIBE again
I have been having problems with my current newsletter service
and as a result a lot of people who want to be receiving these
newsletters are unable to.
I have now signed up for a very reputable service and they will
require you to confirm your subscription. I know we just did
a confirmation this summer, but if you'd like to continue receiving
these newsletters, please look out for that message. You
should be receiving it in the next week.
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Within the past few months I have made huge lifestyle
changes. I take time to listen to what my body needs.
My cravings for artificial sweeteners and processed foods
have diminished. I cook with all whole foods and feel
stronger, more alert, vibrant, and healthy. I have a
renewed passion for life and sense of well-being. I am
overcoming my eating disorder, exploring my spirituality,
and discovering new possibilities for a gratifying career
path. I treasure our relationship. Thank you so much for
your support.
Elyse, Dancer, NYC
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3. Women's Group: Live the Way You Really Want
The Wednesday night women's group is going amazing. Every
Wednesday we have a room filled with dynamic professional
women discussing issues that go on in our internal and external
worlds: from self-esteem and being assertive in our workplace
and relationships, to the pursuit of a fulfilling social life and
romantic relationships.
Because this group has been so inspiring, I am considering
starting another one. If you are interested, please e-mail me
this week.
Women's Group: Live the Way You Really Want
This is women's process group. We will bring topics to the
table that we are dealing with in our everyday life.
Relationships, Career, Spirituality, Body Image
We will discuss things that are pressing on your mind. We
will bring up topics you hadn't thought of before.
The intention is to empower you to become more of what
you really want to be in your life and personal interactions.
*Small Intimate Group Environment
*Individual Attention
*Have accountability and share your goals and
successes.
*Build relationships and laugh
*Build body image and self-esteem, and develop
clearer relationship and career goals
*Discuss topics that you are passionate about or that
are perplexing you
*Weekly Meeting
The group is $75 per month. Month to Month commitment.
You are welcome to come tonight, but you will need to RSVP.
Please contact me for more info or to sign-up.
917-689-6530 or melissa@myheartdances.com
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4. Cooking Classes - 2007
(located on the Upper West Side)
Organic Food, Organic FUN, and Good Company
Thank you for sharing you home, knowledge, great recipes,
and warm friends. There's something very intimate about
creating and sharing a meal with others. It was interesting
to learn about your holistic health background and cook
with new ingredients. I look forward to taking more classes
with you. - Heather
November 15
Garlic Braised Tempeh
Buckwheat
w/ Tahini Sauce
California Waldorf Salad
November 29
Creamy Tofu Soup with Mustard Greens
Baked Rosemary Caraway Sweet Potato
Basic Jasmine Rice
Vegan Peanut Butter Pie
December 7 (Fri)
Meatless Meatloaf
Baked Rosemary w/ Caraway Sweet Potato
Mustard Green Stir Fry
Homemade Applesauce
December 20 (Thurs)
Veggie Quiche
Red Wine Vinaigrette Boiled Potatoes
Buckwheat w/ Bell Peppers
Pumpkin Muffins
Don't see a class on days that you are available?
Make a request... melissa@myheartdances.com
Pre-Register Today – Only $50 per class
All classes are held on the Upper West Side
Class is from 6:30 until 8:30p.m.
And includes all of the following
*Hands-on instruction
*Meet new people
*Learn cool facts and tips about the food you’re eating
*Get healthy tips
*Receive a copy of the recipe to take home
*Enjoy a DELICIOUS meal at the end of class!
Made by The Fabulous You!
Please contact Melissa at Melissa@myheartdances.com for
more details and to register or call 917-689-6530
**Classes are fun, relaxed, and not intimidating! They are
great for beginners!
**Private classes are also available, more details at:
http://www.myheartdances.com/services/cook_class.htm
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™ was developed to support individuals in living from their heart and going after what they want in life. Our mission is to support you in deciding to be honest with yourself and be honest with others so you can face your fears and go after your dreams to "let your heart dance!"