1. Does Fear of Competition have you Stuck?
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1. Does Fear of Competition have you Stuck?
Does fear of competition and failure have you stuck in your job, or afraid to try new things?
When I was a kid my family moved to a small rich, white town in Ohio. We didn't have much money, and I didn't fit in. Because everyone knew each other, I could never shake the ridicule I experienced.
The Dreaded Gym Class
I dreaded gym class. The popular kids were alway selected by the teachers to choose teams. I was almost always the second to last person to be picked for a team, usually only before someone who was overweight. It was humiliating.
When I became an adult, I was really afraid of competition, afraid of failing and looking stupid in front of people. I avoided being in the limelight if there was any potential for me to be compared to another person.
I avoided volleyball and other team sports with my friends, always saying that I didn't like playing. I conveniently made friends more easily with men than with women. And I shied away from an interview for a job I really wanted after college when I found out other students were also being interviewed.
Me? Afraid of Competition?
I didn't know that I was afraid of competition. I really thought I didn't like sports, that I related to men better, and that maybe I just didn't want that job after college anyway. Sometimes we're so good at avoiding situations we're afraid of, that we don't even realize that there is anything wrong.
It wasn't until several years later that I began putting two and two together. Competition made me feel exposed. I thought people would laugh at me if I didn't win. Or, I thought they wouldn't think I was special any more. I feared that I would find out that I wasn't good enough, or worse, other people would find out that I wasn't good enough. So, if I could steer clear of the spotlight whenever others were participating, I did. I wasn't afraid of the spotlight if I was alone. I felt confident then.
I think a lot of people reading this newsletter want to do things with their lives that they are procrastinating on or avoiding because they are afraid. If you fail, you may wonder what that might say about you, what people would think. If you put yourself out there, what if you are humiliated because other people are so much better than you.
Gotta Do It Anyway
Fear of competition isn't a good reason not to do something. If the competition truly is better, then you need to do the work to make yourself better. In many cases, our fears are just an illusion...
Examine them, and be honest with yourself about why you are avoiding things, or procrastinating on things. Take one step this week to challenge yourself. What will it be? (find accountability at Real Beauty Is...)
Stuff to Be a Part of
The young women's group is starting in September. The Get Serious Weight Loss Challenge is also starting in September. E-mail me if you are interested.
Or if you think you have been putting something off for too long, get your butt in here for a coaching session to help you get past it and move on!
Melissa |
™ was developed to support individuals in living from their heart and going after what they want in life. Our mission is to support you in deciding to be honest with yourself and be honest with others so you can face your fears and go after your dreams to "let your heart dance!"