Meet Melissa

Finding a therapist isn't just about credentials. You want to know: Will this person understand me? Will I be able to talk openly with her? Will she respect me and recognize the capable person I am, even when I'm struggling?

Coming to therapy can feel exposing. You're sitting with someone you don't know yet and letting her see you in your pain, uncertainty, confusion, or vulnerability. You may be talking about things you haven't told anyone else, or things you don't entirely understand yourself.

The fact that you're struggling doesn't change the way I see you. I can take your pain seriously without losing sight of your strength, competence, and capacity to find your way through difficult things.

I've spent years sitting with people in complicated, painful, and sometimes deeply private moments. I'm comfortable going into those places with you. I'm curious about you, how you see things, the people who matter to you, and the experiences that have shaped you.

And I won't respond to a complicated situation with a simplistic answer.

What It's Like to Work With Me

I listen carefully, not only to what you're telling me, but also to what might be happening underneath it.

I'm interested in the patterns in your life and relationships, the assumptions you may not realize you're making, the feelings you might be overlooking, and the places where you may have gotten stuck.

We all have blind spots. Sometimes we don't realize we're repeatedly drawn to similar people or situations. Sometimes we're convinced we know what another person's behavior means. Sometimes fear influences what we do without our realizing it. And sometimes our feelings are telling us something important that we haven't been able to put into words yet.

Part of my job is to help you notice these things.

I ask questions, share observations, and offer feedback about what I'm seeing. I may suggest something you haven't considered before or invite you to look at a situation from another perspective. Then we think about it together.

I don't assume I have all the answers, and you don't have to agree with everything I say. This isn't a social encounter. You don't have to protect my feelings. If something I say doesn't fit, I want to know. That's part of the work too.

There will be times when you come in genuinely not knowing what to do. Sometimes I'll have ideas. Other times, we'll need to sit together with the uncertainty.

Some situations don't have an easy answer. Sometimes every way forward involves giving something up. In those moments, therapy isn't about manufacturing certainty or telling you which decision to make. We can look honestly at what you're facing, what matters to you, what each choice might mean, and what you may need in order to move forward.

My goal is to help you understand yourself more deeply, feel more confident in your own judgment, cope more effectively with what is difficult, and have greater freedom in the choices you make and the ways you relate to others.

You Can Talk About the Things That Are Hard to Say

Over the years, I've become very comfortable talking with people about subjects that can feel deeply personal or embarrassing.

That includes relationships, sex and sexuality, sexual health, bodies, desire, disappointment, things you've done, things you want, things you don't want, and parts of yourself you may have difficulty accepting.

Clients will sometimes say, "I hope this isn't TMI," and then tell me exactly what they were worried might be too much information.

I welcome that.

The things we're most reluctant to say out loud can sometimes tell us something important. Being able to talk about them openly can lead to greater understanding and self-acceptance, more ease with yourself, and a greater capacity for honesty and intimacy in your relationships.

You don't have to make yourself more presentable for therapy. I want to understand what's actually going on.

Experience That Shapes My Work

I've been working as a therapist for more than a decade, and I've continued to seek advanced training that helps me understand people and relationships more deeply.

My approach is informed by advanced psychodynamic training at the William Alanson White Institute and my ongoing advanced sex therapy training through the Sexual Health Alliance. Earlier in my career, I also worked in New York City public sexual health clinics, where I counseled people around sexuality, sexual health, relationships, and experiences of shame while working alongside and learning from physicians.

I also bring many years of experience helping people navigate the emotional and relational impact of a genital herpes diagnosis.

Some of the most important things I've learned haven't come from a particular training.

I've learned that people are often more resilient than they're able to feel in the middle of their pain.

I've also learned that pain can make assumptions feel like facts. We can become convinced we know what someone else thinks of us, what an experience says about us, or what the future is going to look like. Sometimes those conclusions are accurate. Sometimes they aren't. Looking at them together can create possibilities that are difficult to see when you're alone inside the situation.

And I've noticed something else over the years: many of the people who find their way into my office are more loved, cared for, and respected by the people around them than they are able to recognize when they're struggling.

Ready to Talk?

If you're looking for a therapist who will engage with you, think with you, and help you look honestly at what's happening without reducing it to easy answers, I'd be glad to talk with you.

I offer in-person therapy in NYC and virtual therapy in California, Florida, Upstate New York, and Long Island.

Contact me for a free 15-minute phone consultation to see whether working together feels like a good fit.