What were some of the most important moments for you this year?

Revisiting experiences you’ve had during a period of time, making a point to think of them in the context of a year, can help build stronger memories about your life and help you feel grounded in space and time.

Maybe you’re reading this because another new relationship with someone you really liked just ended or perhaps you are worried it is ending. You feel confused as to what went wrong because you thought you had such great chemistry. Maybe you noticed a shift, not long ago, that alerted you that something was amiss, that this person was pulling away. Maybe they didn’t text as often, plan dates, or seemed distant. Perhaps there was a conflict or you’ve felt some tension between the two of you.

If you’ve been wondering if virtual or in-person therapy would be right for you, I have some thoughts for you to consider. I almost exclusively offer in-person therapy, with only some exceptions.

Here’s why.

If you’re feeling depressed or anxious, it can be hard to find the energy to do things that are rewarding or that bring you joy. Even some people who would not identify as anxious or depressed are finding themselves feeling a bit lost as they transition out of the pandemic and back into a semi-normal life. If this is you, you might have forgotten how good certain things you used to enjoy can feel.

It may seem a bit cliché, but I love to close each year with a reflection about what was good and what I want to change. It’s a time of year that I often challenge clients to think about these things, and this year I provided a worksheet that received a positive response from many of those I work with. Clients said it was helpful and some of them reflected at length on the questions.

Not always, but often, I find that many of the struggles that lead people to therapy, such as depression or anxiety, are associated with not getting needs met in relationships. This is most often apparent in romantic experiences or family dynamics but can also be seen in friendships and in problems with professional relationships. For this post, I will use romantic relationships as the primary example.

Walking around New York City, I often see emergency preparedness signs, the ones that tell you to make sure you have a plan and working supplies, such as flashlights, batteries, water, etc. 

I especially love the poster of one family's strategy, where under each family member's photo there is text describing what that individual will do. Under the dog, it says, "Grab the cat."

Emergency preparedness is important. But what about being prepared for emotional "emergencies"? Discouragement, loss, let-downs, and grief are no fun. So why not do something in advance to help make those times easier for yourself when they happen?

Do you know what it's like to go to school and be picked on, to always be worried about what the next insult will be and when it will be thrown at you?

to sometimes be unsure if people are being nice or trying to trick you? 

to not be included and to know that you are purposefully not being included?

to wish you belonged?

Do you remember those experiences as if they were yesterday?

I’ve recently had an increase of clients and loved ones in my life with autoimmune conditions, like Fybromyalgia, Hashimoto’s disease (which causes hypothyroid), or other chronic pain conditions like migraine. These are all individuals who are young, mostly in their 30s, and in the prime of their lives.