You long for romantic companionship. You want someone you're excited about to be excited about you. You want someone who thinks about you during the day, sends you notes to say hi, and asks how you are doing. You want to look forward to seeing someone after work, someone who cares about your deepest needs, and who knows your quirks. 

But you're discouraged. You're tired of wasting time going on dates with guys who spend the whole night talking about themselves and never asking about you. When you do finally feel chemistry with someone, the guy doesn't want a relationship, sends mixed messages, or ghosts you. 

You commiserate with your friends that all the guys in New York just want a hook up. But secretly you wonder if it's you. You wonder if you were prettier, cooler, or more fun, that the guys you like wouldn't disappear. So you end up making choices that don't make you feel so good. You reach out to him even though you were the one who initiated last time. You have sex before you're ready because you are afraid he'll think you're weird if you wait. You're not exactly getting what you want, but sometimes he pays attention so you think there's a chance.

But the truth is it hurts. You want someone to want to be with you as much as you want to be with them. You wonder how you keep meeting these kind of guys. You wonder if Mr. Right really exists.

There are a number of possible reasons for having patterns like this in your life. Counseling can help you understand where things are going wrong and to shift into new patterns that allow you to attract available and interested partners. Counseling is not about giving you a list of things you should do differently. Counseling is about making change in the deepest parts of yourself, so that you interact with others from a genuinely healthier and more confident place. This is what changes the dynamic of your relationships.

If you are interested in counseling, call me for a complimentary 15-minute phone consultation at 917-689-6530 to share a bit of your story and learn more about counseling with me. I look forward to hearing from you!