Adjusting to Life After a Herpes Diagnosis

You didn’t think this would happen to you.
And now, you don’t even recognize yourself.

The moment you got the diagnosis, it felt like something inside of you shattered. You’re stuck in an endless loop of regret—what you did, what you didn’t do, what you should have known. One night. One choice. And now it feels like your whole life has changed.

Since then, you’ve been numb. Numb or furious or in tears. You go to work, but you’re not really there. You smile with your friends, but you feel like a stranger in your own skin. You lie in bed and scroll endlessly, searching for stories, answers, anything to prove this doesn’t mean your life is over. And you still come back to the same painful questions:

• “Who will ever want to date me now?”

• “How do I tell someone without losing them?”

• “Am I even allowed to want love anymore?”

• “Does this make me ‘bad’ or ‘dirty’?”

If this sounds like you, please know: you are not alone. And you are not broken.

You Can Still Have the Love You Want—Even With Herpes

What Therapy Can Offer After a Genital Herpes Diagnosis

I'm a therapist in NYC who works with women who have received a genital herpes diagnosis and are struggling with shame, fear, and self-worth. Many of my clients feel like they’ve been cast out of “normal dating” forever. They feel unworthy, unlovable, and devastated.

They often say things like:

• “I feel like I have to settle now.”

• “No guy I actually want will accept this.”

• “I already struggled with self-worth before this. Now I feel untouchable.”

But with support and a space to heal, things can shift. You can begin to understand that you are not your diagnosis. That you can still desire real love and connection—and have it, too. That you can be fully known, and still fully accepted.

What We Work on in Therapy Together

Therapy is not about “fixing” you. It’s about helping you reclaim your voice—the one that knows you’re worthy, powerful, and whole, even now.

Together, we work on:

• Letting go of shame and learning how herpes does not define your worth.

• Understanding how to disclose your diagnosis in a way that feels authentic, honest, and grounded—not desperate or apologetic.

• Healing past patterns of low self-worth, people-pleasing, or putting everyone else’s needs ahead of your own.

• Reconnecting with or discovering your desires, values, and boundaries—not just in dating, but in all areas of life.

• Learning to show up as your full self in relationships, instead of molding yourself into who you think they want you to be.

You might not believe it right now—but many women I’ve worked with have found meaningful relationships, better self-esteem, and a sense of pride after they work through their diagnosis.

You Are More Than a Diagnosis

I’ve helped many women in NYC navigate this deeply personal challenge. I know how painful it can be, especially in a culture that pressures women to be both sexually confident and ‘pure and innocent.’

But your diagnosis doesn’t define your femininity, your desirability, or your future. You are not less than. You don’t have to settle. And you are still allowed to want real love.

Therapy gives you a space where you don’t have to censor yourself. Where you can cry, rage, laugh, and slowly let the weight lift. Where you can make peace with yourself and start moving forward.

Finding a Way Forward — Without Shame

If you’re navigating dating with herpes in NYC and feeling stuck, hopeless, or alone—I’d love to help. You don’t have to do this on your own. Let’s talk about how I can support you.

Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation and let’s begin: Contact Me Here

Frequently Asked Questions

Is it possible to find someone who will still want to date me?
Yes. Absolutely. Many women in your shoes have found loving, respectful relationships. Therapy can help you work through the fear and begin believing that again.

How do I even begin to tell someone I have herpes?
We’ll go over disclosure strategies, ways to communicate with clarity and confidence, and how to navigate rejection (if it happens) without it destroying your self-worth.

I feel like I’ve lost all confidence. Can that come back?
Yes. Therapy is a place to rebuild from the inside out—so you can feel good in your own skin again and remember that your diagnosis does not define you.

Do you only work with women with herpes?
No, but it’s one of my specialties. I also work with women on self-esteem, dating, relationships, anxiety, and identity work.

I feel too ashamed to even say the word “herpes.” What if I can’t talk about it yet?
That’s completely okay. We’ll start wherever you are. You can share as much or as little as you feel ready to—and I’ll meet you with warmth and zero judgment.

What if I feel like I’ll have to settle now?
This is a painful, but very common belief—and one we’ll explore together. You are allowed to want what you really want.

Do I have to be dating to benefit from therapy?
Not at all. Many of my clients aren’t ready to date yet. Counseling after a herpes diagnosis can help you process your emotions, rebuild confidence, and decide what feels right for you, in your own time.”

How do I schedule a session?
You can schedule a free 15-minute consultation on my contact page. It’s easy, confidential, and a low-pressure way to see if this feels right for you.