Over the years, I’ve worked with many individuals who come to therapy fearing they have herpes — even after negative tests and reassurances from medical providers. Often, symptoms involve subtle sensations on or under the skin that can't easily be seen or assessed, leaving individuals feeling misunderstood or worried that something is being missed. For those who struggle with this, the worry can be consuming and isolating. But there is hope.

Some people are so good at avoiding their anxiety that it doesn’t appear they are anxious at all. Others show signs of being panicky. Some people are anxious about a very specific thing (such as a health issue) and others are anxious about their place in the world, how they are doing in life, the security of their relationships, or when the next disaster is going to happen and how they will cope. Some people are able to function well despite their anxiety and others feel frequently distracted, distressed, and can’t sleep well. Some repeatedly seek reassurance from others while others become more introverted and avoidant.

Anxiety is definitely not one size fits all.

Some experiences of anxious or depressed feelings are normal. You notice the feeling but have a sense of being in control of it; it doesn’t interfere with your ability to take action, handle your responsibilities, or participate in activities you enjoy--at least not for long. You might even see the sadness or nervousness as a natural part of the circumstances, of healing, moving forward, or being challenged. You cry it out or give yourself a pep talk and then find yourself moving on.

But sometimes anxiety and depression can become more significant, either in intensity, frequency, or duration.

Anxiety can feel debilitating and paralyzing.

You have knots in your stomach. Your thoughts are racing. You toss and turn, wishing you could sleep. Maybe you feel other things too: anger, sadness, self-doubt. 

You know that moment, when your thoughts start racing and your body tenses up? You feel restless and you can’t focus on anything else because you are so overcome with worry, fear, or nervousness. Your stomach might even feel a little queasy.