I’ve recently had an increase of clients and loved ones in my life with autoimmune conditions, like Fybromyalgia, Hashimoto’s disease (which causes hypothyroid), or other chronic pain conditions like migraine. These are all individuals who are young, mostly in their 30s, and in the prime of their lives.Read More
If you live with insecurity, you are well aware of how bad it feels to always be unsure of yourself in relationships and in your abilities, to always be second guessing yourself, and even judging yourself for feeling insecure.Read More
I recently walked by a store with a sign outside saying: "Flaws Make You Real." This made me wonder, if flaws make you real, then why are so many of us focused on covering up or hiding our imperfections? Human beings are naturally imperfect. We all have distinct blemishes that make us who we are. Why would we wish to be or to look unauthentic?Read More
Anxiety can feel debilitating and paralyzing.
You have knots in your stomach. Your thoughts are racing. You toss and turn, wishing you could sleep. Maybe you feel other things too: anger, sadness, self-doubt.Read More
You know that moment, when your thoughts start racing and your body tenses up? You feel restless and you can’t focus on anything else because you are so overcome with worry, fear, or nervousness. Your stomach might even feel a little queasy.Read More
These are my favorite herpes resources. They include my most recommended sites for facts and information, good books, positive encouraging websites, and some great articles. I hope you find these supportive on your journey.Read More
Below are some answers to common questions or misconceptions my clients diagnosed with herpes often ask or talk with me about in therapy sessions. I hope these are helpful to you as you process your feelings and thoughts about your diagnosis.Read More
The most pressing question many of my clients with genital herpes have, even more than worry about how to tell someone their dating that they have herpes, is when to tell someone they’re dating that they have herpes.
Most of the clients who work with me are looking for a relationship as opposed to casual sex. I do have some clients who enjoy casual sex and who have success disclosing to those partners, but today I’m going to focus on those of you who are seeking something more serious.Read More
I know it might be hard to believe, but there are a lot of people out there who are not going to be bothered that much by you having herpes. I know because I’ve watched many, many women over the years find partners who just didn’t think herpes was a big deal—and I don’t mean that they searched and searched and finally found one partner who accepted them—I mean that they got out there and dated, and disclosed, and had boyfriends, and lived their lives. I also know because there are great writers out there like Ella Dawson who have disclosed their status publicly and the dating pool has not dried up for them.Read More
Maybe you’re reading this because you’ve got that “blah” feeling. You have tasks on your “to do” list, projects you want to start or finish, a workout plan you want to stick to, but you just can’t seem to get motivated. You probably even know that if you just made yourself get up and out, that you would likely feel better.
But it just doesn’t happen.Read More
Spiritual faith is an important if not foundational part of many people’s lives. It can also be a source of internal conflict and sadness, especially if you come from a tradition that doesn’t allow much space for questioning or difference--and you happen to be questioning or different. Continue ReadingRead More
A common concern among heterosexual women I work with who desire to find a long-term partner, is a fear of being needy. These women are usually bright, independent, and socially competent but are frustrated with dating because experiences with potential partners often seem to go nowhere.Read More
The cold, gray winter is quickly approaching and this seasonal change tends to correspond with periodic or persistent low mood for many. Problems and worries can really feel heavier. It might be hard to believe, but this experience can have value. It can become a time of wrestling with our humanity, connecting to what’s meaningful in our lives, and increasing our awareness and sensitivity to the reality of struggle for others.
As you move through adulthood, you might begin to feel like life is rarely free of problems, and this can be disillusioning. Most of us are taught that if we work hard and do all the right things, life will work out well for us, and we won’t suffer the problems that others face. So when you continue to have struggle after struggle, you might start to feel like something is wrong with you, that you really screwed up or made the wrong decision somewhere along the line, that maybe you should've listened to (fill in the blank), or maybe the world or God just has it in for you. Continue Reading...
This inspiring video about women and body image was created by myself and photographer Fernando Cuestas in 2012. It existed on my previous website before I was a psychotherapist, but I feel the message is important and am so proud of the women that participated that I am providing a new home for the video and it's accompanying text on this blog.Read More
This blog is slowly being moved from myheartdances.blogspot.com
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